James "Sparky" Watts joined Camborne School of Mines hockey club in September 2007, and has ever since been a (literally) pivotal player. James' nickname came early on out of necessity, with two James's playing in central midfield that season. A combined effort from "Foundation" Dave Lafferty and "Ginger" Phil Hingston drew a natural conclusion, and "Sparky" has been igniting our play ever since.
Without Sparky (God forbid) to hold us together in times of hardship, we probably wouldn't be in the league we are today. This is not to say that our dear Sparky has had an incident-free existence in our club, though!
To elabourate chronologically, Sparky introduced us to his pent-up wild-side when he demonstrated his elegant capoeira skills in a mighty fetching 'Frosty the Snowman' thong on the roof of the minibus post 'welcome drinks' in full view of his visiting sister. Perhaps they'd rehearsed the routine beforehand...? (I'm sure there must be a picture of that somewhere...) And always one for a dance-off, the Remedies dance floor has been blessed with many original 'moves from this man in the past. Indeed, with the help of the CU, Sparky has been a life-saver on many occasions post-Remedies, handing out bottles of water to abusive drunkards, or even cooking them pancakes for free the following morning. Perhaps we could have some more of that??
His keenness for, well, everything (apart from bad language) led to Sparky being a well-respected fitness guru for the team (that's good Roughy) with many of his stretching techniques baring an uncanny resemblance to a certain Australian aerobics program, but who can complain when we're bringing in the good, and throwing out the bad..? Our captain for a year, this man led us through 'the double', winning both Bottle Match (easily, I might add), and the league, giving us the most successful season to date. Perhaps he was making amends for his performance in the Bottle Match the previous year, but I'm sure we don't have to bring that one up again..! A tough, but fruitful, season saw Sparky learn a great deal in attempting to crack down on our unruliness, but perhaps there is something that he'll never learn - how to sub oneself off...
Sparky has pulled out from his bag of tricks on more than one occasion a surprisingly impressive pint-bolt, when he hasn't been out "just for one guys, just for one...". However, he did keep bringing with him smaller and smaller towels for post-match showers. In the days before Gaymie, Sparky found it nigh-on-impossible to shed his 'gay of the day' title, eventually earning himself a pink flannel to cement his position, which he has used gaily every since.
In the days before 'safety', Sparky would censor our Mom, Dod, God, Champ, Qod votes, but on an odd occasion we managed to get him to say something naughty. I even heard him swear once in a team talk... at Roughy, I think...
Sparky's squeaky cleanness has led to this being a difficult profile to write in jest. But one thing's for certain, with God's holy light shining on us whenever we play with this man in our side, he'll be sorely missed when he moves on to greater pastures!
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